I Want You Here
by JessieJ.B
Summary: One Shot; 9x08 - Mint Chocolate Chip/Rocky Road missing scene & flashback. I also twisted a few things around a bit within the larger scene that it came from. You'll see! I really like the way I wrote it but hopefully all of you think I pulled it off :)


"Quinn, listen..." Haley grasped onto her sister's hand and looked her in the eye. "I really appreciate what you're doing but nothing's gonna take my mind off of Nathan."

"I know, I just think that you should try to think positive and not let your mind wander to those worst places."

Haley's eyes widened. "I'm doing the best that I can but every day that goes by without me hearing anything, the more that I feel like th-"

She turned her head away and placed her hand over her mouth - her fingers covering her lips to avoid the painful admittance of her darkest thoughts.

"I just keep praying for that phone to ring and somebody to tell me that he's okay and he's coming home." She said in a small voice; wrapping her hands around her neck momentarily.

Haley turned to Quinn; a sad desperation evident in her eyes.

Just then, the phone rang, cutting through the deafening silence.

...Only mere seconds ago she'd said it.

Was she dreaming? Or did she wish it into existence?

This had to be too good to be true.

Haley froze.

Quinn to Haley.

It rang again.

Haley to Quinn.

Her face changed and her mouth opened slightly - disbelief creeping out.

No, this was definitely real.

They'd both heard it. Twice.

Was this God finally answering back to all of her faithful pleas?

Haley got up from the breakfast bar and walked the short distance to the counter. She didn't even know how she made it there. Her legs took her there, yes, but her mind was in a place far, far away.

Was this _the _call?

It could be.

If so, would it be good news?

Hopefully.

What if she was told _that one thing_ she didn't want to hear?

No. That wouldn't happen. It couldn't happen. Nathan was too strong for that.

She picked up the phone and turned it on.

But there was that _little_ possibility, right?

No.

"Hello?" Haley spoke up, terrified of what she would hear on the other end; the uncertainty in her voice betraying her now weakened heart.

"Yes it is." Her voice was confident and unsure, all at the same time.

Quinn sat perfectly still, her eyes never leaving her sister. What were they saying to her?

"Yea." Haley's face welcomed a threatening shade of serious.

She began to pull the phone away from her ear; her eyes glued to a spot on the floor in front of her.

Clicking the phone off with a heavy thumb, Haley severed the final tie between her conflicting thoughts - _hope and despair_.

They could no longer exist in her mind at the same time anymore - each of them pulling the other one back and taking over, as if on some type of rapid rotation schedule.

This was it.

From this point on she would feel one or the other.

And knowing where she was headed next, _hope_ took off and suddenly felt a million miles away.

Nowhere in reach, it was now a foreigner. A complete stranger.

A slight numbness began to set in, starting at the tips of her toes.

"They found someone...they think it might be Nathan." She somehow managed to get the words out and forced her eyes up at Quinn.

"I'm supposed to go identify the body." She continued in a voice, flat, and void of any emotion.

Haley stared into space, paralyzed; losing touch with everything around her.

She felt her body and mind giving into the darkness, slipping away bit by bit. But before she allowed it to swallow her whole, a love letter to her husband began just in time; fashioned and forced into thought by the walls of her crumbling heart.

_Nathan, from the second I heard those words 'we found a body', my heart sank. _

_I couldn't move. I couldn't think._

Haley's knees went weak, buckling beneath her. Her whole body felt soft and without form, and she waited for the moment of impact, when she would hit the ground and melt into it, fading into oblivion. Instead, something latched onto her, steadying her.

Everything around her was a blur.

_And now that I've managed to at least move, all I can think about is one moment you and I shared years ago. Over and over, that same insignificant moment repeats in my head. _

_I - I can't tell you why._

The road stretched out in front of them, seemingly growing longer and longer with each passing second; Haley's vacant face staring out the window.

Not at anything. At nothing - but a snapshot of the past; so close in her mind, yet so out of reach.

_It was your birthday. Your first year playing for Maryland. Jamie must've been two. _

_You said you didn't want to do anything but I insisted on at least having your favourite ice cream. _

_Do you remember this?_

* * *

_Nathan put the car in park, exhausted and emotionally drained from the long day that was just barely behind him._

_Haley freed her body from the belt and inched herself closer to Nathan in the driver's seat. _

_"I am so proud of you baby." She grabbed a handful of his hair at the back of his head and played with it for a few seconds, then moved her hand down to his chin, after getting no reaction out of him. _

_She turned his head her way, forcing him to look at her._

_When their eyes met, Nathan let out a tiny chuckle, but Haley could tell it was disingenuous. _

_She knew him._

_He placed his hand over hers and brought her delicate fingers to his lips, kissing them with a sincerity that was absent just moments before._

_"You're sweet Hales. But we lost. You know how much I hate losing."_

_"Oh yes I do." She shook her head and smiled at him, mocking his competitive nature in the kindest way, and attempting to pull him out of his funk._

_"So what's there to be proud of?" Nathan looked down at their hands tangled together in his lap._

_"Nathan..." Her tone raised, but she pushed it back when she noticed him flinch a little, releasing his hand from hers. _

_Not wanting to make him feel worse than he already did, she changed her voice to gentle and reassuring. _

_"Nathan, basketball...it's a game. Yes, it's the game you love. I get that and I respect that. I know that you've worked so hard these past couple years to prove to yourself and everyone else that you can do this. You fight for what you want, and you do it with fierceness, and passion, and integrity."_

_Although he was sitting right next to her, Haley could feel the enormous distance between them._

_"Look at me Nathan, please."_

_He gave in, turning her way; his eyes lost, and looking for something to believe in._

_"If you want to know why I'm proud of you, that's just one of the many reasons. But basketball is not your entire life. You also have this whole other part of your life that you forget about sometimes. You are more than just an athlete. And there will always be more reasons why I'm proud of you for who you are as a person, beyond just the court."_

_"You've become such an amazing man over the years. You're the best one I've ever known. God, think back to the kind of person you were when we first met." She exhaled loudly, the memory haunting her as if it was just yesterday._

_"Asshole." Nathan replied matter-of-factly, as he fiddled with the bottom of the steering wheel._

_Haley let out a good laugh, noticing Nathan trying to hold back from laughing himself._

_"Yea, pretty much. But you've grown into this wonderful person. You are a good man. A great husband, father, friend. You make Jamie and I feel special and loved every single day. And I'm so grateful for that. For who you are to us." Haley paused, while she found his hand again. "You are not Dan Scott. You didn't let that happen. You turned it all around for your own family. So if you're trying to find something to be proud of, be proud of that, because I am. Nathan, you've been everything to us. And more."_

_Silence fell between them for a few seconds, while he searched for truth in her words._

_"Look at him." Haley's eyes moistened, as she nodded toward the backseat. _

_Nathan looked at their son, slumped in his car seat, and watched him sleep peacefully._

_"That little boy's hero is his father. The rest...doesn't matter."_

_A light appeared in Nathan's eyes, accompanying the fresh sprinkle of wetness._

_"Thank you, Haley." He caught her gaze. "I really needed to hear this."_

_They closed their faces in on each other, stopping when their noses just barely grazed._

_"Yea." She slid her hand up and down the length of his cheek._

_Her touch felt like soft velvet to him, and he couldn't help but be astounded by her present beauty. _

_The way she looked, her scent, who she was. All of it. She'd always had this hypnotizing way with him. _

_They lightly rubbed their noses together, and Nathan went in for the kill. His lips caught hers in a powerful kiss, holding equal amounts of love and yearning._

_Their mouths both wrestled for control, while the air around them turned thick and heavy._

_Nathan raised himself out of his seat and edged closer to the passenger door, cornering Haley in the process._

_Haley's breathing immediately increased and her heart began to pound. How was he STILL able to get this reaction out of her, like it was a first kiss? _

_Every. Damn. Time._

_Nathan secured his hands around Haley's waist and started to pull her body back with him toward the driver's seat, when she tore her face away from his delicious taste and scent. It took all of her might. _

_"Whoa birthday boy." She whispered flirtatiously and put her finger up to his mouth. "Not in front of the kid."_

_She pushed him back into his seat and readjusted herself in hers._

_"But...it's my birthday." Nathan reasoned; raising his eyebrows._

_"And that speech kind of really turned me on." A hint of a devilish grin flashed across his face._

_"Nathan Scott! In front of Jamie...we are not...no...you're out of your mind! He will wake up. You're loud!" _

_Although the idea was very enticing, and they hadn't done it in almost a week, she couldn't stand the thought of tainting her baby like that._

_"I'm loud?! Okay...yea, that is true. But as if you're not! My girl is loud...and it's hot." He winked at her._

_"Oh my gosh." Haley put her hands up to her burning face; waiting until some of the heat subsided. _

_"We'll SEE if you happen to get lucky later tonight, but right now we have to get the little rascal into bed so we can celebrate your birthday. Like actually celebrate. I wish we could've done it earlier with him but I didn't know we'd be arriving home this late." Haley offered an apologetic look, feeling bad about their failed family plans. _

_Instead of going straight home after the game as usual, Haley had stayed in the gym, striking up a conversation on the bleachers with a girlfriend of one of Nathan's teammates, and Jamie played around on the court, while they waited for Nathan to shower and change. They'd completely lost track of time._

_Nathan sighed. "Haley, I told you I didn't want to celebrate it. I appreciate you putting in the effort to lift my spirits. I feel better, I promise." He assured her. "...But celebrating right now would just feel like I'm celebrating the loss. It's just weird. It's not completely off my mind. And besides, it's just a birthday. I have one every year, so who really cares anyway?"_

_"Oh don't even give me that. Stop being so crazy! You're being stubborn, Nathan!" She whisper-screamed at him._

_"There's a reason why people celebrate. It signifies another year they made it through the good and the bad; another year they made it through, alive and well. It's a good thing and a happy thing, so get happy!" She finished through gritted teeth and slapped him in the arm._

_"I am happy, Hales. Didn't you just tell me to appreciate what I have in my life? I've got you. I've got Jamie. And we've got a nice house waiting for us to walk into. Speaking of which, let's get out of this car. I can't feel my ass anymore. It's done." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat._

_"Old man, huh? That poor circulation acting up again?" Haley teased, rolling her eyes. "Oh, I guess you're right then. We should forget about celebrating the fact that you're falling apart. That would be just way too cruel."_

_"If that's what it takes to convince you, then yes...and I am just way too decrepit for something like that anyway. I wouldn't even have the energy." Nathan shook his head, appeasing Haley._

_"Yet you have the energy to..." She trailed off, trying to keep a straight face._

_"Of course. Sex? ...With you? I always have energy for that." He flexed his rock-hard bicep in the most cheesy, but sexy way._

_"Always and forever." He said huskily and squinted; making fun of their special catchphrase._

_Haley smiled briefly. "Wait, Nathan are you SURE you don't want to do anything?"_

_"Haley...I don't want to do anything."_

_"Okay, but we can at least have some of your favourite ice-cream. I insist!"_

_"No, I'm good. Really." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and opened the car door, stepping out to get Jamie from the back._

_Haley put her hands around Nathan's imaginary neck in front of her and began to squeeze; her hands then turning into fists._

_"This man is SO frustrating." She said quietly to herself, annoyed at his persistence. "Old man? No! More like a chil -" She stopped herself when she heard him opening Jamie's door._

_All the sudden an idea came to her. She started rummaging through her purse frantically, sighing loudly, as Nathan picked Jamie up out of the car seat. She waited until he was about halfway to their front door, then slipped her cell phone into the glove compartment._

_She got out of the car and caught up to him. _

_"Nathan! Have you seen?...I can't find it." She started to sift through and pull random items out of her purse. _

_"Oh my god!" She gasped. "I must've left my cell phone in the gym. On the bleachers. I have to go get it right now!"_

_"Alright, hurry up! You wouldn't want it to go missing for good. I'm putting Jamie to bed right now." He handed her the keys, and she took off as fast as her feet would allow._

_Nathan turned back around, watching the car speed out of the driveway._

_"Ohh noo. I hope you find it." He said with a devious smile, knowing exactly what Haley was up to._

* * *

_"He has..no idea..what I'm up to." Haley sung out excitedly, as she raced down the frozen aisle of the grocery store. _

_She needed to be quick about this, otherwise Nathan would suspect something, since their student housing complex was only a one-minute drive away from the gym of the college. _

_The grocery store was 8 minutes away. _

_Eight minutes there, eight minutes back plus the time of waiting in line at the cash and paying._

_'So that means I'd be "looking" for my phone for like 25 minutes? Huh? Wait, what?' Her attempt to work the math out in her head was perfectly unsuccessful. Yes, she was smart but she was also under pressure._

_Would she even pull this off?_

_"Okay Haley, you are SO over thinking this." She laughed at herself. "He has no idea."_

_When she made it to the ice-cream section, her eyes rapidly scanned all the different flavours. _

_"Vanilla, Cookies and Cream, Butter Pecan, whatever that ugly pink crap is, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, Rocky Road...Mint chocolate chip! There it is. And only one left. Perfect!"_

_She opened the freezer door and snatched the carton before someone else could steal it - and her clever plan - away. A silly smile took over her face._

_"It's like you've just been sitting here, waiting for me."_

* * *

_Haley tip-toed into the house, hoping that Nathan wouldn't catch her in the act._

_The first part of her plan went smoothly. Now she just needed to get the ice-cream into the house without Nathan finding out before she surprised him with it._

_Just after shutting the front door and taking a few careful steps, the grocery bag suddenly gave away, ripping from the bottom up; right through the middle._

_"Crap." Haley muttered in a low voice, as she picked the carton up off the floor. "Why are these bags so damn flimsy?"_

_She continued walking toward the kitchen, but slowed her pace again when she heard a stir upstairs. _

_Nathan must've heard the little bang._

_"Please don't come down..."_

_Haley quickly opened the kitchen cabinet and took out two bowls. She ripped the lid off the carton and proceeded to fill the first bowl with a few large scoops of the minty goodness._

_She was just about to start filling the second bowl, when she stopped. "Hmm..."_

_She took the bowl over to the cabinet and placed it back inside, then continued to fill the first bowl with even more ice-cream - almost full to the brim._

_Haley put the ice-cream in the freezer and started to walk out of the kitchen._

_"Oh, can't forget these." She skipped back in and grabbed two clean spoons from the dishwasher._

_She managed to get all the way up the stairs without making so much as a peep._

_"Thank you carpeted stairs." Haley whispered to herself in a voice of sweet victory._

_Just as she approached the turn to their bedroom, a loud creak erupted from the floorboard._

_"Hi, Hales." Nathan said in a suspicious tone._

_Haley carefully placed the bowl down on a side table right outside their bedroom, then took a few more steps until they were in view of each other._

_"Hey baby." Haley tried to play it cool, as she hopped on the bed and gave Nathan a quick kiss on the cheek._

_Nathan closed the book he was reading and placed it beside him on the bed, turning to face Haley._

_"So...?" He asked cryptically._

_"So...what?" Haley replied, totally confused._

_Nathan tried to keep a straight face and had to press his lips together to keep from bursting into a fit of laughter._

_"Did you find it?"_

_"Nathan, I have no idea what you're talking about." Haley narrowed her eyes and waited for him to speak up. "Can you just get it out already?"_

_Nathan loved playing with her like this, and what he loved even more, was winning. She thought she was outsmarting him, but little did she know, she had another thing coming._

_"Well, where's your cell phone, ya dork? That is why you drove off so frantically, isn't it?"_

_Haley had forgotten all about the cell phone...until now. She was way too wrapped up in the ice-cream situation._

_'Oh. My. God.' She thought to herself. 'I should've at least shown him it and acted all happy that I'd "found" it. Wait...where is my cell phone anyway?'_

_Her plan was now shot to hell. She was stuck and didn't exactly know how to talk her way out of this._

_"Oh yea, right! My cell phone!" Haley chuckled - a bit too nervously for Nathan not to notice. _

_"I'm gonna go get it. I left it somewhere downstairs."_

_"You lose something once, you lose it again, huh?" Nathan wisecracked, while shaking his head in disappointment at her._

_Haley got up off the bed and started walking toward the door. "Guess so, hah."_

_Right when she made it past the doorframe, Nathan's voice cut into her jumbled thoughts._

_"Hales...check the glove compartment." His voice was serious, but she noticed a hint of playfulness strewn about his words._

_Haley halted, and slowly backed up until she met his eyes. She reluctantly offered him a smile - one of both pure defeat and embarrassment._

_"When I was carrying Jamie to the front door you were taking an unusually long time in the car, so I took a few steps back to see what the holdup was, and I saw you putting your cell phone in there."_

_'I can't get anything past him.'_

_"You can't get anything past me Hales." Nathan smirked._

_Haley rolled her eyes; resting one hand on the doorframe and the other on her hip._

_"I also know you bought ice-cream and are about to force some semi-celebration birthday thing on me."_

_"Oh come on! How did you possibly know that?" She threw her hands up in disbelief._

_"Your man is not just brawn, but also brains." He tapped his finger to his temple. "You were my tutor, weren't you? But it doesn't even take a genius to figure out that sometimes you reaally suck at being secretive."_

_"Okay, I give up." Haley stepped outside the door and grabbed the bowl off the table. _

_"Yes, I picked up some of your favourite ice-cream. Is it such a crime that I want to do something for my husband on his birthday?" _

_Haley plopped herself on the bed and gave him a loving kiss._

_"Happy birthday, Nathan. I love you."_

_"I love you too. And I appreciate you doing this, really. I knew you wouldn't listen to me and I was just waiting to see what you would pull out of your hat." Nathan said, smiling big; pleased with the fact that he knew her so well._

_And he should after all this time together._

_"Well, you're welcome." Haley handed Nathan one of the spoons. "Okay, eat up."_

_Haley was just about to put her heaping spoon in her mouth when she noticed a strange look on Nathan's face._

_"What?"_

_"No Rocky Road? You must've left it downstairs too, right?" He mocked her; referencing to earlier in their conversation._

_"Rocky Road?...Nathan, but Mint Chocolate Chip is your favourite..." She pointed down toward the bowl._

_"Why did you think that was my favourite?" He cocked his head slightly._

_"Wait. Nathan, I am so confused. Any time we've gotten ice-cream together that's what you always chose."_

_"Rocky Road is my favourite, Haley." He answered calmly and evenly. He knew a day would come when they would be having this conversation._

_Haley's eyes grew wider and wider as this new revelation hit her, and she tried to process it. She was absolutely bewildered. How had she gotten it wrong all this time?_

_Nathan then looked at Haley so tenderly. "I always chose mint chocolate chip because I knew it was your favourite flavour."_

_Haley's mouth dropped open. She was in complete awe of this man in front of her. Why would he do that?_

_She fixed her eyes on his and held onto them so tightly, as if she was staring right into his very soul._

_And that's when she realized for the first time that he hadn't been making any of his decisions for himself._

_He was doing everything for her all along - for his family._

_And it occurred to her that they still had so much to learn about each other._

* * *

They walked tortuously down the hallway leading into the morgue; Quinn wrapping one of her hands around Haley's and the other around her shoulder - pulling her body close into hers.

_And since then, Nathan, I've learned about the wonderfully selfless, humble, strong man you are._

She knew she needed to go in the room alone; Quinn giving her sister one final embrace before her life was possibly going to be forever changed.

_Nathan, I can't hear that you'll never come home again._

_That I'll never learn something new about you again._

_Never experience your selflessness, your love, your warm touch again._

Haley walked through the open doors, and it felt wrong - as though she were welcoming and accepting into her life, the vile fate that lay in front of her.

_Nathan._

_Please..._

Haley tried to remember how to walk; placing one lead foot in front of the other, in the unforgiving quicksand beneath her.

_Have we really had our last conversation?_

_Our last kiss?_

She made her way around the side of the gurney and turned - facing it head on.

_I don't know what I'd do._

_Please..._

The white sheet was pulled back and Haley's throat constricted.

She choked on her vicious sobs, as tears began spilling down her cheeks, and a silent scream tore through her heart.

_Cold, cold water surrounds me now._

Haley moved her hands back and forth in front of her and shook her head, attempting to shield herself from what she was seeing. She placed a hand on her chest to make sure she was still breathing.

It wasn't him.

_And all I've got is your hand._

_Pulling me back to you._

Haley motioned for the body to be covered. It couldn't have happened fast enough.

She raised a trembling hand to her mouth, muffling her deep cries, then put both hands over her eyes.

_You're out there, Nathan._

_I can feel it._

_And I'll be waiting for you._

_Always and forever._


End file.
